Many of you were likely brought here by my Instagram page. Thanks for your sweet support and checking out the rest of the blog. If you’re up for sharing, I’d love to hear more about how you personally relate to my story in the comments below.
If you haven’t seen the original post or want to see the whole thing (too many characters to fit it all on Instagram) – here is the extended version:
(Note: If you scroll past the post, I list the 5 things I do keep myself in the ‘self-love’ lane daily. It’s a really great place to start if you want to start giving yourself some extra lovin’, too.)
As Seen on @angelamcnally Instagram (EXTENDED VERSION)
Real Talk: I’m feeling terrified to do this post. Which makes me know I have to.
This is the first bathing suit I’ve loved on me in a while. My butt loves to eat my swimsuits, and my size 10 bod has trouble finding the right cut. I felt really cute in this swimsuit, then one of my friends took this picture and I’ll I could see was big arms and cellulite – and wanted to delete it immediately.
During the same weekend away, another friend kept commenting ‘you take such good care of yourself’ – and it’s true, I really do.
These two incidents (along with so many other things) made me realize that somewhere within my alignment of self-love to self-acceptance is out of balance.
One of the hardest things about feeling good about yourself these days is the knowing that you’re always being photographed, social media is a part of our daily lives, and the ability to compare yourself to others is just a scroll, click or snap away.
For me, I can leave the house feeling sexy AF. But somehow by the end of the day – with everyone around me talking about bodies or diets, seeing badly lit pictures of myself or comparing myself to someone who is structurally built to be half my weight and size…
I end up right back in negative self-talk and no longer feeling good about myself.
As you may know, I started my career and gained much of my following in the world of fitness and nutrition. And while healthy foods and exercise will always be a part of my daily life – the extreme lifestyle, the obsession with skinny and talking about bodies all day long eventually drove me insane.
So I quit that and built a life I love.
Then along the way I was diagnosed with an incurable auto-immune disease that makes it really, really hard to lose weight. And for 5 years now I’ve been hoping and praying that one day something on my healing journey will just ‘click’ and I’ll go back to my former body shape and weight.
Except the old me was starving. Starving for love, starving for acceptance, starving for healing and quite literally starving. The old me didn’t know how to process intense emotions, communicate in relationships, or manage money. I abused drugs and alcohol and food and anything else I could vice out with.
So ya, maybe I was skinny. But what the fuck does that really have to do with anything?
For too long I’ve been looking at this disease as a curse. But it’s also made me 100% more mindful about what I put into and how I treat my body.
I’m gluten free, (mostly) dairy free and I am a water connoisseur. I move my body daily and I work out with a personal trainer twice a week. I see a therapist weekly, I get massages and do reiki. I’m a mediation coach and practice daily. I walk everywhere and I crave vegetables and green juice.
I also love nights out that involve cocktails and a dance floor, travel, coffee and trying new restaurants. I enjoy all of those things guilt-free. Because those things fill up my soul cup. Those things are my balance.
And I would never go back to a life of restriction because to me – no body shape would ever be worth missing out on this amazing life.
So if this picture is my body when I’m happy, healthy, loving myself and practicing extreme self care – then you know what I’ve realized? SCREW IT – It is what it is and I’m done obsessing!
Having this realization has shifted so much for me.
Lately I’ve been thinking God gave me Hashimoto’s to learn to be brave enough to say – “it’s fine”.
We are all different shapes and sizes and as long as you are being kind to yourself and your body, it’s okay.
So instead of obsessing over the perfect lighting, my arms being too big, if big booties are still in, comparing myself to others, and all the other things I (and we all) do daily…. I’m realizing it really doesn’t matter. I’m going to make a conscious effort to love and accept myself ‘as is’.
Let’s encourage loving ourselves and start embracing whatever version of healthy truly feels right for each of us. We are all always a work in progress. I will always be working towards a happier and healthier me. But I’m realizing that self-acceptance is the only way to make my acts of self-love worth it. To realize I’m worthy of being kind to myself everyday, and not just ‘one day’ – is such a gift. One of those life changing realizations for me.
#AMstorytime #RealTalkwithAM #realvibesonly
Here are 5 things I do to make sure I stay in a loving mindset towards myself daily:
1. I’m grateful everyday.
I wake up every morning and thank my bed for a great sleep, for the husband I have waking up beside me, for my health, for a home I love and an abundance of family and friends. I list anything that comes to my mind that day silently in my head and just say ‘thank you’.
I’m sure you’ve read dozens of blogs and articles that say to do this. But I really want you to take a moment to fully understand the power of this:
We are all fields of energy. Positive attracts positive, and negative attracts negative. It’s not only self-care, it’s science.
So when you wake up and thank life for what you have, you are attracting more.
When you wake up and berate yourself and let your inner-voice talk about how fat you are, poor you are, lonely you are – guess what you are attracting? A bad day, and a bad life.
From personal experience as a former victim of negative self-chatter, to an avid believer in a daily gratitude practice – I can honestly say my life in all areas has changed for the better when I adopted the latter.
What do you have to lose?
2. I don’t participate in negative body conversations.
I find it super sad when people waste their time talking about other peoples bodies.
There are some people in my life that make this habit a regular occurrence, and unfortunately they aren’t really people I can choose to take distance from.
Usually, I choose to leave the room and not participate, or say – “I think she is beautiful” to show the gossipers that I’m not having it, without starting a confrontation.
When people are speaking negatively of others, it’s because they don’t love themselves.
So wish them love and don’t feed into it.
Hopefully you can surround yourself (most of the time) with people who have way more uplifting, intelligent and loving things to say.
Mind chatter is another form of negative body messaging. And usually 99% of the time, it’s about YOU! Catch yourself when you think something bad about yourself and change the thought.
Here is a great quick affirmation you can use as soon as you need to change your thoughts:
I am beautiful.
I am healthy.
I love my body.
3. I’m a routine queen.
Maybe you are wondering how a routine can keep me loving myself?
For me, it keeps my life in balance. It simply keeps the things I know I need in my life to feel happy and healthy in my schedule.
When I was younger I was a ‘fly by the seat of my pants’ kind of gal. If you asked me to do it, I would. Even if it meant not taking my health, success or sanity first. I was the ‘super cool fun girl’. Except I was broke, unhealthy, suffering from anxiety and only fun at the party!
There are exceptions to this rule I am sure – But personally I’ve never met a happy person who doesn’t have routine in their lives. We are creatures of habit. We crave self-care. We deeply need quiet time and personal space for growth.
I’ll do another blog about my personal routine soon. But it includes things like a morning ritual, my personal trainer, my therapist, meditation, preparing healthy foods, setting weekly goals and one quiet ‘me night’ a week. Then 1-2 days a week I plan to be ‘off routine’ and enjoying whatever life has to offer. Typically this is a Saturday night and Sunday.
I will say this really important lesson I’ve learned:
It’s hard to ‘let go’ of your health and body shape and negative self-image if you aren’t caring for yourself. If you aren’t giving yourself and your body the best it deserves (which does not mean perfection, it just means routine) – then it would be hard to get your mind around the self-acceptance.
I think acts of self-love lead to accepting yourself. So making your health and happiness a priority is the first step to being strong enough to love yourself everyday.
Does this make sense?
4. I check in with my body and I listen.
This is by far the most important thing I’ve learned to do for myself over the years. When I stop being ‘go-go-go’ and get quiet – my soul, my mind and my body all have messages for me.
Maybe it’s a need for a quiet night even though I will be disappointing someone. Maybe it’s a need for more water and freshly squeezed vegetable juice. Maybe it’s hitting my meditation pillow and just taking time to breathe on a particularly busy day.
You know when you get sick because you have done things for everyone else and not yourself? That’s not listening to yourself. You know when you spontaneously cry and want to kill someone for no reason? That’s not listening to yourself.
Happiness comes from loving yourself first, and everyone else second. Trust me there is more than enough love left (more!) to love your family and friends in a healthy way after you take your needs first.
(Note: I’m not a mom yet. But, I want to be really soon. And I get that you come second when you have a new baby. But once the baby is not physically dependent on you and only you – set some boundaries, get some help and make some time for your health and happiness. Might be an hour a week – but it’s important.)
5. I let go.
This one is a total work in progress. Every day. Maybe forever?
This one is especially for my fellow sufferers of auto-immune. It’s so easy to obsess about healing. But it’s so unhealthy. If you are stressing about not being healthy and how to get there every day – you are keeping yourself in that negative space.
Educate yourself, yes. Come up with the best plan that feels right for you. Do your best. Then let it go!
This also applies to everyone. When someone tags you in a bad photo, or you feel like a whale in the worlds worst bridesmaids dress, or anything else that keeps you obsessing for zero reason…
Let it go!
The more energy you put into these silly things, the more the world will continue this negative cycle.
Contribute to the higher consciousness of happiness. That starts with you loving yourself, then your daughters will learn to love themselves, and so forth. The world does change one positive action at a time!
This was a really tough blog for me to hit publish on! I’d love got hear your thoughts, fears, comments and stories below.
Sending you and your bodies all of my love!
– AM
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You are fabulous ❤❤❤
You look beautiful!
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I love you so much, am so proud of you and learn from you every second of every day! xoxoxoxoxoxox
Love this Ange, you’re beautiful inside and out ?
You look beautiful girl and you rocked that bathing suit ??
Great post Angela. It will touch a lot of women. Takes courage to be this honest.
❤️this!
I absolutely love this! And I love you! Thank you for putting into words what so many people are afraid to say! You are beautiful my love! Miss you! Xo ❤️❤️
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️you are an amazingly beautiful woman. I love this so much. Xoxoxoxo
Wow… you are so blessed, and talented at expressing yourself… I know the thyroid struggle, I have thyroid disease as well! ..you live such a clean, balanced life, are you using doTERRA oils?✨???
Love this pot Ange! ❤️
LOVE THIS! You are beautiful inside and out ?
Seriously Angela. I know we haven’t spoken in a while but you are an incredible human being. You are blessed with friends family a husband and beauty within. Screw everything else in life. As long as you love and are loved nothing else counts. May God continue to keep you in his favour. People need to count their blessings. Way to go Ang.
You are such an inspiration and you’re absolutely beautiful! Thank you for sharing ❤❤❤
Preach!! ??❤️
Hey beauty, I just wanted to say this raw, real, confident post brought tears to my eyes. I want to tell you that you seriously rock! Our physical bodies are our temples and what matters is how we treat and worship them, not the visualization on this material plane. Sending you so much love and pure joyous blessings!! ???
You’re so beautiful!
Gorgeous inside and out! Love you Ange!❤️?
Look at the bum ?love it Ang ! You’re a beautiful woman inside & out!!
Beautiful!
Love this and so true! Very inspiring ???
I luv the bathing suit. It’s beautiful and so are you ??❤️
Flawless ?? so very true- we all feel it / do it.
I cried reading this! Have never been more proud of you. You’re the most beautiful woman I know ❤️
LOVEEEEEEEEEEEE ❤️
I am right there with Claire and crying away!! You nailed it! And are nailing it!! Love you so much and and right beside you and filling out cups with nothin’ but LOVE????
???????xoxox
❤️?❤️
Right on babe! Well said. This post resonates deep. ❤️❤️❤️ our concept of beauty is constantly ever changing. All over the world beauty is defined in different ways. Some parts of the world pale skin is the ideal tone, while here being tanned is a sign of status and health. There are countries that hail a curvy or voluptuous woman as “optimal” because it means she is a healthy barer for children. Here in the west we are constantly mind fucked and bombarded with “fat” and “skinny” no one way is ever enough or right. It’s just a means to create desires to fit in and be loved- be apart of something. While all the while encouraging self hate, self indulgence and buy into consumerism and the endless products that will help us detox, slim down, or grow a bigger booty. Let’s take beauty back! Let’s not be so hyper conscious of image damnet! Let’s stop commenting and wasted time on that and accept and embrace ALL forms of beauty. Erase everything we thought we knew about what it means to be beautiful and start with what is healthy. ALL SHAPES AND SIZES ARE BEAUTIFUL, we are meant to be different, and accept that. We are born to be this way. ?
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Absolutely inspiring words,you are wise beyond your years many women don’t come to these realizations until they’re halfway through their life,
Your are so beautiful❤️?
This post moved me so much and truly resonated. I love this and YOU so so so much. Proud beyond belief ?
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@angelamcnally ❤️ you. I’m so chunky since having my kids- and I’m sure people look at me and judge me for it. But honestly- I’m just as active as I ever was and my mental health is waaaay better. I live by my priorities not by my pant size. I def have room for improvement in the eating area- but three babies in under five years has murdered my body. I refuse to be hungry/grouchy/tired bc of food. I would be a crummy mum if I focused on my appearance.
And btw- I will LOVE to look like you in that photo!
I love this! ?
The love of my life right there! ?
Super love the way you are and you look! It’s really an honor to work with you
Oh man, you are so beautiful inside and out. You inspire me!!!!
Touchee!??
You are awesome and so damn beautiful!!! Good for you sister ❤?
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You are so inspiring Angela thanks for sharing part of your beautifully challenging journey ?
Yes!! Thank you for your truth ?
Yesssssssss #love
Hey Ang! It’s been a while but I just wanted to say…awesome post!! Be so proud of yourself, such an important message for all women ❤️
Ya’know….we didn’t really talk in high school….but I think I love you ?. Such a strong beautiful woman xoxo
This is everyyythinnnnggggg! You are such an amazing woman!
❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for your courage in sharing a touchy subject. You are a beautiful woman.
You are beautiful in so many ways!!! ??
My beautiful girl inside and out!????
You are beautiful!
You’re amazing babe and you look incredible. Keep doing you!
You’re an inspiration @angelamcnally! Beautiful post ?
Love this! ?
Awe you just brought tears to my eyes @angelamcnally ? we all have our battles and many of us keep them locked inside because of those fears and insecurities. You’re a great role model, and it’s marvelous to watch how much you’ve grown. You’ve always been such a gem. Keep on your path of love and light beautiful you’re helping so many of us on the way too. Xo ?
Truly a smart and inspirational beautiful woman!!!
❤️?
Thank you for this post Angela. You have no idea how many people can relate to your authenticity. As a Psychotherapist that works with a lot of people with body image struggles I have to say you are a light in a world of very dark atttiudes. With your permission I would love to share.
Carly,
Thank you so much for your kind message. It means so much to me to hear this!
Also, I’m a huge advocate for psychotherapy and it would be my honour for you to share this.
I will email you as well – I’m not sure if you will get a notification of this reply.
Thank you!
Ang you should be so proud of yourself! This was an amazing and inspirational post! Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing ?
Thank you so much love! Means the world to me to hear this.
You are amazing and so inspirational. Thanks for sharing! ♥️
I am so proud of everything you do but this article is the best yet.
Keep being real and being true to yourself. You are a beautiful person.
Thank you so much!
What a incredible and raw blog! I am so proud of you and even more proud you are one of my best friends! PS you are beautiful PSS thanks for the important reminders about self love and letting go xo
Love you sister! Luckily we have the best support system ever to just let it gooo together!
You are my hero, today and everyday! This is such an important message and I love you for opening your heart!
Love you today and everyday!
@angelamcnally You are beautiful!!!??
This is amazing your such a strong woman to be sharing this with all of us but I know that it will help a lot of us woman that struggle with the same problem I find woman are always talking about how they wish they were skinnier but what the focus should be is happiness and they rest should fall into place I personally thank you for this post as I am a mother of three an 8 year old and 6 month old twins I’ve always had a great body but now I’m slowly understanding that it doesn’t matter what’s on the outside it’s what’s on the inside that counts
You go girl ❤️?? I loved this! So beautiful and happy.
You go girl ❤️?? I loved this! So beautiful and happy
LOVE this!!! Beautiful
I am in awe and humbled at your amazing-ness Angela! Bravo to you for your honesty in this beautiful post. ?
You’re Beautiful inside and out! ❤️
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Yas. Qweeeeen!
Great share ??
Spot on Ang ! You’ve always been gorgeous, skinny or curvy! I hope one day to be able feel the ‘screw it’ energy and live that way also! ??
Beauty….inside and out!! ??
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Love it, as someone who spent most of their life starving, I’ve let go and live 20 lbs heavier, it’s hard some days but I enjoy life a hell of a lot more, the extra belly roll is made of love, laughter and success ?
Loved every word of it. Wosh O had a friend like you in my 20’s. You are inspirational. Angela Hodder
Just beautiful Angela… these are amazing tips at precisely the time I need them!!!
Thank you
everyday seems like it’s getting harder not to be under a microscope but everyday I’m proud more women are accepting themselves for what makes them healthy and happy. I used to set my fucking alarms on my phone with things like “you seriously need to shed the weight” “go fucking work out” WHO THE HELL wants to start their day like that. This post is hard because we all feel good until we see it against everyone else – but fuck yes you gotta live more then hide because of something as minuscule as image! Peace baby! ✌?✌???????
I can’t thank you enough for being you and sharing your truth and what is in your heart. You are honest, beautiful and inspiring! Thanks for being YOU! ?
You @angelamcnally are beyond beautiful inside and out! You are. Race, courageous and an inspiration to so many! Sending you love and light beauty. Keep shining your light xx
This is absolutely fantastic! ❤️
Angela – It’s good to see that you are really taking care of yourself as a whole person. I struggle with accepting a very similar body type, also with an illness that makes weight loss difficult, and I can attest that every day is a fresh battle. I will take this post as a reminder to be brave and strong and not let others define what self-care or beauty really means to me. Congrats, thanks for posting, and I wish you the best on your ongoing journey.
Hey girl!
I am a friend of Laura’s. I’ve seen her share your blogs / posts a few times now! I just wanted to say you’re words were very raw, and very inspiring. While luckily I don’t suffer from an AI disease. I am newly pregnant. And I have learned that comparison is killer. Emotionally, physically, and mentally. I am constantly wondering, Am I gaining too much weight? Should I be gaining more? Should I be showing by now? Am I taking the right prenatal? Is my diet baby “safe”? And the amount of posts / opinions / pictures on social media makes me feel even more conflicted about all of the above. The biggest thing i have learned over the past few weeks is too quiet the mind, appreciate the gift I have been given, and to listen to MY body.
I can’t wait to take some of your suggestions, and put them in to practice!
Keep up the great work.
You are right you are not a mom, so you cannot say anything about setting boundaries.
I love your blog but when you find the ‘right’ recipe for doing it all please advise! Being a new mom has been the most challenging (rewarding) thing ever…can’t wait to read about your breast feeding blog because no one ever tells you about that, that is the hardest part about having a baby, labour? Not so much. Breast feeding? Finding out your baby is severely dehydrated the first two days of life, ?
Hi Chloe,
You are so right. I really have no idea. So, I’m sorry if that offended you!
Because you are right, I could not imagine a sick or hungry child. Breaks my heart.
Thanks for letting me know your feelings in a sweet way. I’m so glad you like my blog. Thank you!
Lots of love to you and your little one.
A.