Boundaries are the second love of my life. Anthony, and boundaries.
But don’t get it twisted that they came easily to me. For 33 years of my life I had no boundaries. I would give myself fully, freely and thanklessly. I would put everyone’s happiness before my own. It was my own co-dependent issues that I needed to unlearn. And finally, when it came my turn in life to need support, I realized that the road did not travel two ways.
Needless to say, my love of boundaries was birthed out of a lot of pain. But like all good things in life, I appreciate my ability to choose and love myself first in a way I could not have without the tough lessons.
Boundaries in my job as a Coach, where I hold space for people’s dreams can be tricky to navigate. Because with every big dream, there is a biggest fear, there is a blockage, there is a trauma from childhood.
I sell Business Coaching, but the work is so much more than that. And because I go so deep with ALL of my clients, I consider them all dear friends.
Recently I realized why my road to learning boundaries was so intense and difficult – because it had to be for me to learn the lessons so that I was able to hold space in such a big, beautiful way. If I hadn’t gone through the pain, and learned the lessons, I couldn’t have been the Coach that I am.
Aren’t life realizations like that so cool?
Recently though, my energy output has been at an all time high. Just last week I had a big doctors appointment, a hang with friends I don’t see often (lots of catching up/sharing/energy), the launch of the fertility episode and all the beautiful outreach from it, my first Soul Hang, a speaking engagement, plus my regular work load of clients. Not to mention being a ‘good’ wife, sister, daughter and friend. I also realized this week that I haven’t had a day off in two months because I’ve been writing soul mail on the weekends.
SO BASICALLY I AM A BAD ASS.
And if you have your own version of a list like this (which I know you do) SO ARE YOU!
At the time of writing this blog and Soul Mail, it is Wednesday. Once I’m done, I’m logging off until after the long weekend to fill up my own cup with some boundaries and major self care.
If you’re feeling like you just need to take a break from it all, see below for some ideas on how to implement this into your own life.
Do you need some help setting boundaries? Unsure how to fill up your own cup?
Here is what boundaries and self care look like for me.
Boundaries & Self Care Ideas
Social Media/Phone Detox
I am currently logged off and don’t plan to return until after the long weekend.
Truth: The first 12 hours make you realize how addicted we really are. I legit picked up my phone to creep instagram 200 times. After the first hump, it feels soooo good. Give it a try, even if just for 24 hours. You’ll thank me later.
Cleary communicating to clients you are out of office
I find this the biggest one. But let me be clear I show up in a HUGE way for my clients always. My intention is not to drop the ball. ever. I am always so conscious of the investment they make in my service and I am invested in showing up in a big way for each individual. But this also means I need to take time for myself, and often.
Which is something I have been letting slip recently with so much happening.
I simply send an email clearly stating that I will be offline, and to please be in touch before I’m off if they need anything. I answer all needs before officially logging off with love and grace, and then I enjoy my time off so much more.
Clear Your Schedule
In terms of personal life, social commitments everything that isn’t a necessity or you are dreading, needs to go. If you’re burnt out and overwhelmed, being a yes person helps no one. The people who truly love you will understand, and if they don’t they are probably the people you need a break from anyway.
In terms of business schedule management, my New Years Intention was two things: No more free work (ie for friends who want advice) and no more meetings that don’t move my business or personal life forward.
I haven’t been perfect with this, but I’m trying my best.
Self Care Practices
This is the number one thing I recommend when you need to fill up your own cup. Meditation, breath work, journalling, gratitude practice and quiet time – these all sound mundane, but they are ALL the foundation for a great life. I promise you this.
Also body work such as massage, reiki and other healing modalities are a great way to fill up your cup.